When I first started writing Rising from the RUINS, I thought I was writing a book about addiction, recovery, and faith.

I thought it would be a testimony about the 19 years I spent battling drugs and alcohol, the mistakes I made, and how God changed my life.

And yes, that is part of the story.

But somewhere along the way, the book became something deeper than I ever planned.

It became a book about identity.

It became a book about broken foundations.

It became a book about the things that happen in life long before addiction ever shows up.

It became a book about how a person can spend years chasing success, approval, relationships, or even God, and still feel like something inside isn’t right.

And I didn’t plan that.

That realization happened while I was writing.

There is actually a chapter in the book called Identity Crisis, and that chapter was never in the original outline. It showed up because I finally saw something I had never fully understood before. My addiction was not the root of my life falling apart. My identity was.

That was one of the biggest moments in the entire writing process.

And once I saw that, everything in my life started making more sense.

The childhood wounds.
The insecurity.
The need for approval.
The constant chasing.
The feeling like I had to prove myself.
The feeling like I was never enough.

All of it connected.

Another chapter that was never planned was the chapter about the ripple effect of infidelity. That one was hard to write, but it became one of the most honest chapters in the whole book. When I looked back at my life, I could see how patterns repeat when wounds never heal. Things that happened when I was young didn’t stay in the past. They followed me into adulthood, into marriage, into decisions I never thought I would make.

That was a hard realization, but it was also one of the most important ones.

That is when I really understood what the RUINS meant.

The RUINS framework in the book stands for
Recognize the Ruins
Understand the Impact
Identify the Lies
Navigate the Healing
Stand in Redemption

When I first wrote that framework, I thought I was describing recovery.

Now I realize I was describing my entire life.

Ruins don’t happen overnight.
They happen slowly, over time, through things we never deal with, lies we believe, and pain we learn to hide instead of heal.

That is what this book really became about.

Not just addiction.
Not just faith.
Not just mistakes.

It became about how a life gets built on a broken foundation, and how God can rebuild it piece by piece when you finally surrender.

One thing that surprised me while writing this book is how many parts of my life had the same pattern. BMX, sound systems, trucks, business, MLM, chasing dreams, even parts of ministry. Every time I thought the next thing would make me feel whole. Every time I thought the next thing would fix what I felt inside.

And every time, it didn’t.

That is why this book is not just for people who struggled with addiction.

It is for anyone who has ever felt like something inside them was missing and they didn’t know why.

It is for people who feel like they should be happy, but aren’t.
It is for people who feel like they have made too many mistakes.
It is for people who believe in God but still feel broken.
It is for people who spent years trying to prove themselves.
It is for people who feel like life did not turn out how they thought it would.
It is for people who think it might be too late to rebuild.

One of the biggest lessons I learned while writing Rising from the RUINS is this.

Addiction was not the only thing I needed freedom from.

I needed freedom from the lies I believed about myself.
I needed freedom from the need to prove I mattered.
I needed freedom from the shame I carried for years.
I needed freedom from the idea that my value came from success, attention, or what other people thought.

And that freedom did not come overnight.

It came through surrender.

It came through obedience.

It came through facing things I avoided for years.

It came through letting God rebuild parts of me that I thought were too far gone.

Another lesson I learned is that healing is not always loud.

Sometimes it is slow.
Sometimes it is quiet.
Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening.
Sometimes it feels like you are going backwards.

But when you look back, you realize God was working the whole time.

That is why I believe this book can help more people than I first thought it would.

Not because my story is special.

But because the patterns in my story are not unique.

We may not all have the same ruins, but we all have something in our past that shaped how we see ourselves.

We all have lies we believed.
We all have pain we never dealt with.
We all have things we tried to use to fill a hole inside.

And we all need redemption in some way.

Rising from the RUINS is not a book about a perfect life.

It is a book about a real life.

A life with mistakes.
A life with regrets.
A life with broken seasons.
A life with faith that wasn’t always strong.
A life with moments I am not proud of.
A life that had to be rebuilt more than once.

But it is also a book about hope.

Hope that it is not too late.
Hope that God can still rebuild what feels destroyed.
Hope that your past does not have to define your future.
Hope that healing is possible, even if it takes time.

And if this book does anything, I hope it helps people realize this.

Your ruins are not the end of your story.

Sometimes they are the place where the real rebuilding begins.

Chris Benton
Rising from the RUINS
Coming soon on The Chris & Sandy Show

The post What Rising from the RUINS Has Become and Why This Book Is Different Than I Expected appeared first on The Chris & Sandy Show.

Most people talk about the big decisions that change their life.
The big moves.
The big risks.
The big moments.

But the longer I live, the more I realize something most people overlook.

It’s not usually the big decisions that change your life.

It’s the small ones.

Small decisions don’t feel important at the time.
They feel random.
They feel insignificant.
Sometimes they even feel like accidents.

But when you look back years later, you realize those small decisions were the very things that led you to the biggest moments of your life.

I know this because my entire life has been shaped by small decisions.

The message that changed everything

Almost 24 years ago, on February 2, 2002, I was on a Christian singles website just looking for someone to talk to. I was bored more than anything else, and I usually wouldn’t even message someone unless they had a profile picture.

That night I made a small decision that didn’t seem important at all.

I messaged Sandy even though she didn’t have a picture.

On her side, she made a small decision too.
She was only on the site at that moment because she had logged in to delete an email someone had sent her.

Two small decisions.

That’s all it took.

What if I had stuck to my normal rule and not messaged her?
What if she had logged off five minutes earlier?
What if either of us had decided not to respond?

We never would have met.

Sixteen days after we met online, we set our wedding date.
Yes, people thought we were crazy.
But we knew God was in it.

That one small decision led to a marriage that has lasted decades, two kids, a life we never could have planned, and a story that is still being written.

People think the big decision was getting married.

But the truth is, the big decision never happens without the small ones first.

The decision that saved my life

Another small decision changed my life in a way I never expected.

After 19 years of addiction, I reached a point where I knew I couldn’t fix myself anymore. There wasn’t a big moment with lights flashing and music playing. There was just a quiet moment where I finally said, “God, I can’t do this without You.”

That was a small decision.

It didn’t feel dramatic at the time.
It didn’t feel powerful.
It just felt honest.

But that small decision started the process that led to my life being rebuilt.

Looking back now, that moment was bigger than any decision I ever made in business, relationships, or anything else.

It proves something I believe with all my heart now.

Every miracle in my life started with a small act of obedience.

The show that almost never started

Years later, another small decision changed everything again.

In 2020, Sandy and I decided to start a show. We didn’t have a plan. We didn’t have connections. We didn’t have money coming in from it. We just felt like we should do it.

We almost didn’t start.

It would have been easy to say we were too busy.
It would have been easy to say no one would watch.
It would have been easy to wait for the perfect time.

Instead, we made a small decision to try.

That small decision turned into hundreds of interviews, conversations with people from all walks of life, and a platform that ended up shaping our future in ways we never saw coming.

Today, so much of what I feel called to do traces back to that one simple choice.

Not a big decision.

A small one.

Even the hard moments can lead somewhere

Recently I had to delete hundreds of videos from YouTube after getting a copyright strike. It was frustrating, and honestly I didn’t even know exactly what mistake I made.

But after I cleared everything out, I realized something.

All that clutter had been slowing me down.

Sometimes the small decisions that change your life don’t feel exciting.
Sometimes they feel like loss.
Sometimes they feel like starting over.

But even those moments can create space for something new.

Looking back, so many of the things that felt like setbacks were actually turning points.

Small decisions build your future

We like to think life changes in one big moment.

But most of the time, life changes one small decision at a time.

A message you almost didn’t send.
A prayer you almost didn’t pray.
A step you almost didn’t take.
A conversation you almost avoided.
A risk you almost didn’t try.

Those small choices stack up.

They lead you to the big moments.

You can’t go from big decision to big decision.

You go from little decision to little decision,
until one day you look back and realize those small steps led you exactly where you were supposed to be.

Trust the small steps

If you feel like the decisions you’re making right now don’t matter, they do.

If you feel like the step in front of you is too small to make a difference, it isn’t.

Every major turning point in my life was preceded by a series of small choices that didn’t seem important at the time.

So take the step.
Send the message.
Make the call.
Have the conversation.
Pray the prayer.
Try the thing you keep feeling led to try.

You never know which small decision God is going to use to change everything.

The person you are today was built by the small decisions you made yesterday.

And the person you become tomorrow will be built by the small decisions you make today.

— Chris Benton

The post Can Small Decisions Change Your Life? appeared first on The Chris & Sandy Show.

There comes a point in life when you stop asking why things are hard and start noticing something else entirely. A lot of things are not just hard. They feel backwards.

You’re told you need experience to get a job, yet no one wants to give you a job so you can gain experience. You’re expected to arrive prepared for opportunities that only exist once you’ve already been given a chance. It’s a cycle that feels impossible when you’re standing on the outside looking in.

We see this same pattern play out in media and influence. Over the years on The Chris & Sandy Show, we’ve interviewed artists, creators, entrepreneurs, and storytellers at every level. Something we’ve noticed consistently is this: people are quick to share interviews they’ve done on large platforms, but often overlook the smaller ones. Those conversations still matter, even if they don’t come with massive reach.

That same imbalance shows up in everyday relationships. Someone with a large following can share a thought and it spreads instantly. Meanwhile, a friend can say the same thing, sometimes with more clarity or deeper lived experience, and it’s met with silence. Not because the message lacked value, but because it didn’t come from a recognized name.

One moment that brought this reality into sharp focus was seeing a Facebook friend who regularly credits well-known voices when sharing quotes. That same person later shared one of my (Chris) original quotes without giving credit at all. It wasn’t about recognition or ego. It was the realization that we often value names more than truth. We assign weight based on visibility instead of integrity.

Money works this way too. When you truly need it, doors stay closed. When you don’t need it, offers appear easily. When you’re small, nothing is given to you. No grace. No favors. No shortcuts. But when you’re big, access and opportunity suddenly seem endless.

Here’s the hard truth most people avoid saying out loud: life isn’t fair.

Some people are dealt better cards. Others are handed rejection, loss, silence, and setbacks early and often. But over time, you learn something critical. It’s not the cards you’re dealt that define you. It’s how you play them.

Lesson One: Obscurity Is Not Punishment

The unseen season is not a penalty. It’s preparation. When no one is watching, you learn discipline. When no one is applauding, you learn consistency. Obscurity builds muscles that attention never will.

Most people want the platform without the process. But character is forged when effort goes unnoticed.

Lesson Two: Truth Does Not Need a Big Name to Be True

A message doesn’t become valuable because it went viral. Truth stands on its own, even when it’s whispered instead of amplified. If your words are ignored today, that doesn’t mean they lack power. It may simply mean they haven’t reached the right ears yet.

Lesson Three: Fairness Is Not the Goal, Growth Is

Waiting for life to be fair will keep you stuck. Growth happens when you accept reality and still choose forward movement. You don’t need equal footing to move forward. You need resilience.

Lesson Four: Confidence Comes After Action, Not Before

Success works backwards. You’re expected to show up before you feel ready. Believe before you see results. Act confident before confidence arrives. Courage is rarely a feeling first. It’s usually a decision.

Lesson Five: The Quiet Season Is a Filter

The lack of applause reveals motives. It exposes whether you’re chasing validation or purpose. The unseen season filters out those who only show up when it’s convenient. Those who remain are being shaped for something deeper.

Nobody sees the years spent building when no one cared. They only notice when it suddenly looks easy. But nothing meaningful is ever built overnight.

If you’re in a quiet season right now, feeling overlooked, undervalued, or invisible, you are not behind. You are being built.

The path may feel backwards. The progress may feel slow. But purpose still moves forward, even when recognition doesn’t.

That’s why we believe conversations like these matter. Because the most important growth often happens far away from the spotlight.

And we’ll keep having those conversations here, on The Chris & Sandy Show.

The post When Life Feels Backwards but Purpose Still Moves Forward appeared first on The Chris & Sandy Show.